Dec 17, 2009

Dear Cherry Coke,

You have always been a love of mine, I regret that I have not always loved you the way you deserved. I know at times I have felt a stronger love towards your big brother, Coke Classic, I am ashamed at how openly I have spoken about this love. I know that my actions hurt you deeply but you are too kind, too sweet, too cherry flavored to really say anything in your own defense. I should not take such advantage of your unwavering love and patience with me.

On this day, my sweet; cherry flavored love, I awoke with a migraine ( the neurological equivalent of getting kicked in the testes) and was near tears for much of my morning. I sent the good Saint Michael to the fridge to procure me my usual migraine elixir, an icy cold Coke Classic. Saint Michael did not return from the fridge with good news, he returned to me with a can of warm coke- it might as well have been no coke at all. Oh the despair, oh the agony, oh the warm bubbled horror of an unchilled Coke Classic.

When I finally felt well enough to eat some lunch, who is greeting me in the cafeteria with open arms? You are, my love, my Cherry Coke. How could I be so blind this whole time? Sure Coke Classic is shiny and sleek with it's flashy red can but my dearest Cherry Coke needs no flash. The simple soda fountain you are housed in holds the greatest treasure, syrup, fizzy water and ice chips. When those ingredients are put together in a styrofoam cup, well my day gets a little brighter. Birds sing a little louder, my office door gets knocked on a little softer and much less frequently.

Thank you, my sweet love, for sticking by me in spite of my obvious lack of judgement. Today, you are not just my sweet Cherry Coke, you are the soother of my weary soul, the easer of my migraine. Why you are the bubbly equivalent of 12 hours of sleep interrupted only by the sweet snuggles of my Saint Michael.

Ever lovingly,

ps... Some one has got to tell Coke Classic we are taking a break, after all the time I have spent with him lately, I think it would be best coming from some one else he is close to. Maybe my sister Dandy or her sweet hubs, Jeff.

Oct 21, 2009

Do not deliver to an intoxicated person!!!!

When you mail order wine, be sure to specify a shipment address where the following things can happen:
1. A person 21 years of age or older is present to sign for said wine.
2. The package the wine arrives in is discreet

If option 1 and option 2 do not happen, well you can find yourself in an pickle.

Especially if your shipping address is your OFFICE.

Sep 22, 2009

Just the way I like it

Today Saint Michael gave me a tasty surprise, lunch!
Saint Michael took the time to make me a sandwich, just the way I like it.

Two slices of plain old wheat bread, a little light mayo and ham. Perfection.

Wrap that bad boy up in a paper towel ( so it doesn't get soggy or smooshed) and stick it in a Target brand zipper bag ( no Ziploc for our frugal household! Our sammiches can suffer.) and there you have, my lunch. My lunch that filled my belly and gave my heart tinglies. Thanks Saint Michael! Me and the belly* thank you!

* Yes my belly speaks, it must in order to exude the kind of control over me it has. It always wants to eat, what is up with that?!

Sep 4, 2009

Sarah's Sassy Buffalo Chicken Dip

Sarah’s Sassy Buffalo Chicken Dip

Shovel it in as fast as you can, cause honey, this dip goes FAST.

Shopping List:
Crock Pot ( if you do not already have one, do not speak to me, you are not ready for this dip.)
2 blocks of Cream Cheese ( do not even attempt low fat, if you are going to eat this dip, go for the gold and use the fully loaded stuff)
4 cups Monty Jack cheese ( basically 2 regular sized bags worth)
1 large bottle of Frank’s Red Hot ( at least 12 ounces, grab a 16 or 20 if you want to crank up the heat)
1 medium bottle of original Hidden Valley Ranch ( all other ranches pale in comparison.)
3 boneless, skinless PLAIN chicken breasts cooked and shredded ( boiling works best for cooking and then pop it in your food processor to chop. I sincerely recommend shredding though because it has better texture and makes a yummy sandwich the next day)

To prepare:

Cook, shred/ chop/ mince the chicken to your desired consistency/ size.
While the chicken is cooking pop your two blocks of unwrapped cream cheese into the bottom of the crock pot, set the tempature to low. Add in the Monty Jack cheese, hot sauce and ranch. When the chicken is ready toss it in on TOP of the other ingredients. It is important to put the chicken on top so that the other ingredients that need to actually melt/ cook get the most heat. This will make your dip creamier and your chicken less burned. Cover the whole gooey mess and let simmer for 30 minutes. Stir it up, repeat as necessary until the dip comes together in a creamy consistency and all the ingredients are mixed in and warmed. If you are in a hurry and want your dip quickly, crank it up to high heat and it only takes about 30 minutes to be ready. It tastes better if you wait and let it all come together slowly. It smells like tangy buffalo chicken wings and tastes amazing on little pieces of bread, Fritos or tortilla chips. What ever you prefer. I have never met a single person who did not LOVE this dip. For extra fun, serve with sides of celery that have been smeared with chunky blue cheese dressing for dipping. Yum, Yum, Yum!

A special note to pregnant/ nursing friends, add the hot sauce in a little at a time to get the “tang” of the flavor but none of the heart burn causing heat. I made the mistake of eating this dip while nursing my daughter and I have not lived down the horror of how bad spice can make a baby hurt. You can always set some plain dip aside for you and just sprinkle hot sauce to taste in it if you are worried and let every one else eat the fully cranked sauce. So good, you will not want to miss out.

Please let me know how you like it!

Aug 28, 2009

Buy American (wind shield wipers)

I learned today that when it rains, wind shield wipers aid in your ability to see the road ( true story). When your wiper blades need replacing the rubber starts to deteriorate leaving an oily film on the windshield as the deteriorated blades try to wick away the moisture. This oily film attaches to your windshield and causes the wiper blades to be even less effective because the oil mixes with the water and forms a sort of impenetrable paste. Evidently wiper blades should be changed every 6,000 miles. Normally I would say phooey on that auto industry as you are simply trying to grab every last shekel you can from hard working and calloused hands. After my experience today, I am now a believer and will add new wiper blades into the regimen every two oil changes.

I work down in a southern suburb known fondly as B-town that USED to have a Toyota dealership. I say USED to because the vast road construction in B-town caused the previously handy dealership to shut down and relocate. Well this caused a bit of a pickle as I could barely see and was driving all Mr.Magoo* style down American Blvd. I needed wiper blades and I needed them STAT. Who oh who would come through for me? The friendly folks at Dodge of B-town.

I pulled in to their parts department, scrambled in through the rain and was greeted by a very sweet girl by the name of Ruthie who directed me to a kindly chap named Eric. Eric not only went out in the pouring rain and measured my wipers to see if any Dodge/ Chrysler parts would work on my totally Japanese car. Bless the mans heart he had suitable blades located with in 5 minutes and even installed them for me free of charge.

You guys, for the price of one wiper blade at Toyota, I got two American made** windshield wipers installed by a very friendly technician. And the Dodge dealership was on American Blvd, could I be more patriotic?

While I still love the maneuverability, fuel efficiency, stowed third row and overt cuteness of my Rav-4, I have seriously got a rekindled love of buying things American.

We live in a global economy and that is wonderful and has opened up doors for innovation and brought us technologies that 5 years ago were not even a dream but isn't there something to be said for taking some pride in the craftsmanship of American companies and American products?

What are your favorite, high quality American made products or companies? Extra points if they are a Minnesota company.

I will be dedicating future blog posts to exploring and promoting products, companies and services that offer high quality, American made goods. What do you love about the company and why? I want to hear from YOU!

* You guys Mr. Magoo totally had Myopia. And that is in way a comical condition as it seriously impairs your ability to see to near total blindness. And I drive like a dude who is near totally blind. I suck.

** I was not able to verify that Dodge wiper blades are actually manufactured in the USA, because North America is not really known for its vast Rubber tree plantations I sincerely doubt they were. But Dodge is a Michigan*** based company and Michigan was in theUSA last time I checked so I totally give Dodge wiper blades some USA street cred.

*** I hate Michael Moore. But I loved Bowling for Columbine and Farenheit 9/11. Still do. I am so conflicted.

Aug 27, 2009

The taste of complete and utter fugness

I have been working very hard to be both health/ nutrition conscious and budget conscious. While one actually sort of follows the other, I some times fall of the wagon and will eat, say, a hot muffalletta with a goat cheese salad. All 9,000 glorious calories of it at a whopping $9.50 price tag ( Crave in the Galleria, you can totally suck it). When I decide to eat something from home the price is built into my grocery bill ( love love love Super Target*) and the calories are usually a gentle 200-350 per meal. And the quality/ taste of the food is generally better too.
Enter mistake numero uno. Un Grande mistake-o. I really fucked up.

Today I ate something I regret. I ate something that still haunts my mouth and stomach because my body refuses to throw it back up despite my mind willing my body to just go ahead and spew it all away. Yuck Yuck Yuck, I ate Lean Cuisine Macaroni and Cheese.
You guys, I should have known better. As it microwaved it got gelatinous chunks of "cheese" in it that didn't go away with stirring and remained glued to my fork despite my efforts at wiping, flinging and rinsing the cheese globs away.
The first bite was kind of chewy but with the consistency of noodles cooked too long. It tasted like bland cheese flavored chemicals and smelled like garlic. Why did I eat more? I will never know. I ate most of the package with my stomach telling me "no no no!!!" and my brain saying "Sarah, it is 270 calories and you need to eat lunch. Don't be wasteful." I could have eaten 270 calories of lard and felt better afterwards and lard wouldn't have left a chemical cheese/ garlic flavor in my mouth.
In summation... I hate you Lean Cuisine.

* I love Super Target. I love Super Target so much I want to live at Super Target. There is almost NOTHING you can't get at Super Target and I have yet to find something I can't get there that I can't find either a suitable substitute or couldn't just live with out it. Super Target is my Mecca. Super Target is my sanctuary. I want to have little tiny, bargain priced, up and up babies with Super Target. O.k. that last part was a stretch. Because Saint Michael works for Target Corp ( boo ya!) we get the great perk of the employee discount so all the awesome things we love at Super Target are cheaper for our family.