Dec 30, 2010

Low carb snackin' for my sista's afflicted with type G diabetes

I have this friend, a pregnant one. She can't eat much for carbs right now because she has type G diabetes ( gestational). I thought it would be nice to post a tasty snack that I love that is also low in carbs and high in yum!
This can't really be filed under "Reasons Why I am Fat" because this snack is actually pretty good for you. This can, however, be filed under " Knock Off" because I had something similar at a joint called " Bar Abilene" in Uptown. Mine is better. True story.
This isn't the most inexpensive snack ever but it is so good, it is worth the splurge. And all that good fat in the avocado? So great for a fetus' brain development.
And this is easy!!
With out further ado, Guac and low carb chips.

Buy a bag of "Mission low carb tortilla chips". They exist, are about $3.00 a bag and are really, really good. I can't really figure out what makes them low carb except they seem thinner than a regular tortilla chip. But hey, low carb is low carb.
Buy 4 avocado, Hass avocado- they have a sticker on them that says "Hass" . I swear all other avocados are no good. You want the avocado to be firm but soft. It should have a little give when you squeeze it but NOT be rock hard. If you buy rock hard avocado, give them a few days and they will squish up a bit.
Buy a jar of salsa, whatever heat level you like.
Buy a bulb of garlic. Or the pre-chopped packed in oil garlic in a jar.

Things you should already have on hand:
Worcestershire sauce
Green Tabasco sauce

To prepare:

If you are working with raw cloves of garlic (fresh) peel out 4 cloves of garlic, on low heat in a tbsp. of olive oil, cook the garlic till it is a little brown and very soft. I chop the cloves to a small dice to ensure they mesh well in the guac.
If you are using jarred garlic, open your jar now.

1. Cut each of the avocado in half. Scoop out the pit. The easiest way is to take a spoon, whack the pit hard with the spoon and then pop it out with the spoon. I think whacking it with the spoon loosens it. But maybe I am wrong.
2. scoop the insides of the avocado out and dump them in a bowl.
3. Smash the avocado up in the bowl with a fork, but just to chunk it, not totally mashed.
4. Put about one cup of salsa in a colander and drain off the liquid.
5. Dump the drained salsa into the avocado.
6. Dump the garlic into the mix. If you use jarred garlic then dump about 1 teaspoon worth in.
7. Add a shake or two of Worcestershire sauce.
8. Add a shake or 3 of green Tabasco.
9. Using 2 forks, smash the crap out of the whole mix.
10. Dunk a chip in and enjoy.

This sounds like it takes a lot of energy but really? It doesn't. It costs about$10 including the chips assuming you have to buy everything on the list and you don't already have salsa in your fridge. Really though? Who doesn't have salsa in their fridge. Dunking veggies in the guac is also tasty. Thinly sliced cucumber has a pleasing chip like crunch.
I hope all my girlies with Type G diabetes enjoy a low carb treat. But most importantly, I hope you all feel better real real soon. I am pretty sure your kids will be even cuter because of how you suffer extra for them.

Dec 14, 2010

Reasons Why I am Fat: OREO TRUFFLES

Honestly, we could file Oreo truffles into the SOLE REASON I am a chubette.
So I hate Oreo cookies. Deal with it. I am still an American, I just hate them. Gross.
But when you pulverize a whole package of them to crumbs and add in a block of cream cheese? Well, you get the most delicious treat I have ever tasted. Excluding Mike and Ikes and banana taffy of course. But we all know fake banana flavoring is the best invention ever.
Here is the tastiest recipe ever. Ever. Seriously.

Oreo Truffles
One package regular oreos. No store brands, no double stuff, no low fat. Regular oreos.
One package Philly cream cheese. Or a store brand. But not any thing other than fully loaded.And not whipped either. Just a block of Philly.
Some white chocolate chips. Like a bagful.

Set the Philly out to get soft/ room tempature. You need it soft for mixing, it will not work well cold.
Crush the Oreo cookies to crumbs. Seriously, take some aggression out on them. They need to be pulverized. There are two good ways I have found. One is AWESOME and the other is o.k.
The awesome way: Put a bunch of cookies, about 1/3 the package in at a time, into a food processor. Pulse and chop them till they are crumbed. Dump into large mixing bowl and repeat till all are mashed.
The o.k. way: Stick cookies in Ziploc bag. Crush with rolling pin.

Combine the crushed oreos with the cream cheese. I use my Kitchen Aid mixer and it works great. If you have a mixer you will use, use the paddle attachment. It is the best one for the job. If you do this by hand, well, just make sure it is thoroughly combined.

Roll the Oreo dough into small balls. Maybe 1-2 inches in diameter. Place each ball on a parchment or wax paper lined sheet. This will make about 30 truffles.
Set the tray outside to get cold. Not frozen but definitely firm.

While your balls are firming up,(heh), melt the white chocolate chips. Get a second cookie sheet and a wire rack out, you will want to drip the truffles on the rack after you have coated them in chocolate.
Take each cold ball and dunk it in the melted chocolate. I use two forks to make a basket to transfer each truffle to the wire rack. Let the chocolate harden. Put the truffles in an airtight container. But first eat 7 of them. I know I did.
Share them with people you really love.
Seriously. Delish, and this is coming from a lady who HATES chocolate and oreos.

* I would just like to say that I made mine with a cute little red or green dot on top thinking it would be festive and Christmasy. Nope. I made tiny, truffle, Christmas boobs. Feel free to not decorate them. Or decorate them with a non nipple-esque decoration.

A post about fattness. Mine, specifically.

I love sweets. It is no secret I can generally be found with some kind of treat in my hand. Preferably of the fruity variety. Mike and Ike's make my heart soar. Banana Laffy Taffy? I drool just thinking about it. But the holiday season isn't much for Mike and Ikes, the holiday season and its requisite baking tend to involved heavy things, like chocolate and peanut butter. ( I intend some day to invent a cookie made with Mike and Ikes. And world peace will be achieved.) While I mourn the Mike and Ikes free holiday season, I thought I would share with you some recipes. This series of recipes is titled "Reasons Why I am Fat". And while I realize I am not actually fat, I eat a lot of sweets and reckon I could drop at least 15 pounds if I just stopped eating sweets. But what sort of life is that, I wonder?
And also, can some one please tell me how it is possible I still weigh 10-15 pounds more than my pre-baby weight but yet fit into all my pre-baby clothes/ sizes. Am I squishing out and I don't realize it? If I look a fool, you'd tell me right?

Kicking off "Reasons Why I am Fat. The Recipe Extravaganza" is a personal favorite. And also the easiest thing in the world to make. Butterscotch Haystacks.

Take one bag of butterscotch chips and melt. Preferably over a double boiler. I use a metal bowl place over a pot of simmering water. Who needs a double boiler when that method works just as well? Better, even. Maybe?
Dump one bag of chow mein noodles into the scotch chips. Give it a stir. Plop small piles onto wax paper or parchment paper to harden and cool.
Eat them for they are yummy.
Feel free to sub out the scotch chips for something you like better. White chocolate? Chocolate? And also, broken up pieces of pretzel work great in this instead of chow mein noodles.
So really, friends, I in essence gave you a recipe for melting something and then putting other stuff into it. Am I creative or what? Hahaha. Enjoy.

A post full of excuses for my absence.

I have been an absent blogger lately.There are tons of reasons. Chiefly, I am lazy. Secondly, I have transitioned from working to being a FT stay at home mother. While one would think this frees up crazy amounts of times for blogging, one would, in fact, be wrong.
I dreamed of lazy afternoon naps with my child in my arms. Sleeping late, lounging about in pajamas and maybe, if we felt like it, watching Disney movies while snuggled up in a blanket. And wouldn't you know it? Staying home as a full time mother is actually super challenging, hectic and exhausting. My sweet Lucia quit napping regularly right about the time I started staying home. And she also discovered she has a brain and likes to learn. No. LOVES to learn. She always wants to be in the world doing things and exploring and just figuring this whole LIFE thing out for herself. And I could be blogging about each and every adventure we take but honestly? I would much rather not have my camera or computer in my hands. I want to be with her, getting my hands dirty, laughing, running, getting grass stains from rolling down hills, covered in finger paint, exhausted from playing.
It has been a time of great stretching. Of great growth in my heart and in my soul and I get a fulfillment out of being with her I never thought was possible. While I will go back to work ,hopefully back into the field that I love, right now? I just want to be present and fully immersed in my daughter and our family. Because truthfully? It all goes by And I want to soak up this magical time of mommyhood. And Lucy is the coolest kid on the planet, who wouldn't want to spend all their time with her?