Dec 6, 2011

Potato Soup- a Decemberween Miracle!!

It has been nearly a year since sharing my fatty goodness with the world. I give you my Decemberween miracle, Potato Soup. This gift is given in honor of the true reason for the season : Butter.

This meal is stupidly cheap to make. You need about $4. Less if you keep a normal persons pantry and have russet potatoes, heavy cream, milk, celery, butter and an onion on hand. Btw...that is all you need for this recipe. Those exact things in the following quantities.
Potatoes- 6 medium - plain Idaho brown. Don't get fancy.
Celery- 2 stalks
Cream- 1 cup. You could use 1/2 and 1/2, but why?
Butter- 1 stick
Onion- 1 medium. Yellow or white.
Milk- 1.5 cups
Water-1.5 cups

In a big pot on medium heat, melt stick of butter. While the stick turns into a butter bath, peel and finely dice the onion and celery. Yes, peeling celery is an actual thing best done with a veggie peeler. You can skip the celery peeling if that creeps you out too much.
Drop the onions and celery in the butter and let them simmer away for a few minutes- until everything is soft. The smell will smell of sweet buttered onions when they are ready. I don't know how long that is and should time it some day...but trust your nose.
While the onions and celery simmer peel and cube your taters. I like mine in 1/2 inch pieces so they cook faster. Toss the spuds in the pan and coat with butter. Let simmer about a minute so they soak in the butter.
Dump in water, cream and milk. Stir. Simmer on low/ med low for about 30 minutes stirring every few so it doesn't froth over or get burned. Add some salt and pepper to taste. When the taters are tender, enjoy. I started with a cold pan and no veggies ready at 4:45 and by 5:30 the soup was ready so this is a quick dish.

*please note, cream based soups froth pretty hard when a boil sets in so you really need to baby sit it. The reason I give extra attention to this step is because it is the perfect meal if you need a flipping break from chores/ kids/ husbands. You have an excuse to enjoy a glass of wine in the kitchen while you read US Weekly and stir soup. Just like the pilgrim wives did back in the day.

Jan 12, 2011

Loaded Mashed Potatoes- Not for the faint of carb

These are the best mashed potatoes on the planet. The best. If you are able to participate in carbs, enjoy. If you are not, sorry for clogging your reader with food you can't have. again.

Shopping List:
3 lbs of potatoes. Any kind you have. My favorite are red or Yukon.
1 onion - yellow or white. It matters little.
Bacon- at least 4 strips, more if you love flavor and hate your arteries.
Sour cream- about 1/2 cup ( minimum) not low fat/ fat free
Butter- 1 half stick. or so.

1. Dice the potatoes to half inch cubes. I don't peel them unless I use brown russet potatoes.
2. Toss taters in water and boil till they are softer than fork tender. Maybe the right term is squishy?
3. Crisp up the bacon in a fry pan. As crispy as you like it.
4. Chop onion, small dice.
5. After bacon is crispy let bacon set on paper towels to cool.
6. Fry onion till soft in bacon fat.
7. When taters are done, drain in collander.
8. Mash taters roughly.
9. Add in sourcream and butter, mash till creamy.
10. stir in onion and bacon.
11. enjoy.
12. snip fresh chives on top of you like. They are tasty but not necessary.

As a bonus, my bacon vinaigrette recipe.

Take bacon grease and dump into a glass liquid measuring cup.
What ever volume is present add 1/2 in acid ( vinegar of the balsamic variety is a good choice)
Whisk together with some salt and pepper to taste. Toss on salad greens with the veggies you like and pomegranate or mandarin oranges. Or both. Tasty. Salty/ sweet/ crunchy/ Awesome.
You love this right? Right.
your belly.

Dec 30, 2010

Low carb snackin' for my sista's afflicted with type G diabetes

I have this friend, a pregnant one. She can't eat much for carbs right now because she has type G diabetes ( gestational). I thought it would be nice to post a tasty snack that I love that is also low in carbs and high in yum!
This can't really be filed under "Reasons Why I am Fat" because this snack is actually pretty good for you. This can, however, be filed under " Knock Off" because I had something similar at a joint called " Bar Abilene" in Uptown. Mine is better. True story.
This isn't the most inexpensive snack ever but it is so good, it is worth the splurge. And all that good fat in the avocado? So great for a fetus' brain development.
And this is easy!!
With out further ado, Guac and low carb chips.

Buy a bag of "Mission low carb tortilla chips". They exist, are about $3.00 a bag and are really, really good. I can't really figure out what makes them low carb except they seem thinner than a regular tortilla chip. But hey, low carb is low carb.
Buy 4 avocado, Hass avocado- they have a sticker on them that says "Hass" . I swear all other avocados are no good. You want the avocado to be firm but soft. It should have a little give when you squeeze it but NOT be rock hard. If you buy rock hard avocado, give them a few days and they will squish up a bit.
Buy a jar of salsa, whatever heat level you like.
Buy a bulb of garlic. Or the pre-chopped packed in oil garlic in a jar.

Things you should already have on hand:
Worcestershire sauce
Green Tabasco sauce

To prepare:

If you are working with raw cloves of garlic (fresh) peel out 4 cloves of garlic, on low heat in a tbsp. of olive oil, cook the garlic till it is a little brown and very soft. I chop the cloves to a small dice to ensure they mesh well in the guac.
If you are using jarred garlic, open your jar now.

1. Cut each of the avocado in half. Scoop out the pit. The easiest way is to take a spoon, whack the pit hard with the spoon and then pop it out with the spoon. I think whacking it with the spoon loosens it. But maybe I am wrong.
2. scoop the insides of the avocado out and dump them in a bowl.
3. Smash the avocado up in the bowl with a fork, but just to chunk it, not totally mashed.
4. Put about one cup of salsa in a colander and drain off the liquid.
5. Dump the drained salsa into the avocado.
6. Dump the garlic into the mix. If you use jarred garlic then dump about 1 teaspoon worth in.
7. Add a shake or two of Worcestershire sauce.
8. Add a shake or 3 of green Tabasco.
9. Using 2 forks, smash the crap out of the whole mix.
10. Dunk a chip in and enjoy.

This sounds like it takes a lot of energy but really? It doesn't. It costs about$10 including the chips assuming you have to buy everything on the list and you don't already have salsa in your fridge. Really though? Who doesn't have salsa in their fridge. Dunking veggies in the guac is also tasty. Thinly sliced cucumber has a pleasing chip like crunch.
I hope all my girlies with Type G diabetes enjoy a low carb treat. But most importantly, I hope you all feel better real real soon. I am pretty sure your kids will be even cuter because of how you suffer extra for them.

Dec 14, 2010

Reasons Why I am Fat: OREO TRUFFLES

Honestly, we could file Oreo truffles into the SOLE REASON I am a chubette.
So I hate Oreo cookies. Deal with it. I am still an American, I just hate them. Gross.
But when you pulverize a whole package of them to crumbs and add in a block of cream cheese? Well, you get the most delicious treat I have ever tasted. Excluding Mike and Ikes and banana taffy of course. But we all know fake banana flavoring is the best invention ever.
Here is the tastiest recipe ever. Ever. Seriously.

Oreo Truffles
One package regular oreos. No store brands, no double stuff, no low fat. Regular oreos.
One package Philly cream cheese. Or a store brand. But not any thing other than fully loaded.And not whipped either. Just a block of Philly.
Some white chocolate chips. Like a bagful.

Set the Philly out to get soft/ room tempature. You need it soft for mixing, it will not work well cold.
Crush the Oreo cookies to crumbs. Seriously, take some aggression out on them. They need to be pulverized. There are two good ways I have found. One is AWESOME and the other is o.k.
The awesome way: Put a bunch of cookies, about 1/3 the package in at a time, into a food processor. Pulse and chop them till they are crumbed. Dump into large mixing bowl and repeat till all are mashed.
The o.k. way: Stick cookies in Ziploc bag. Crush with rolling pin.

Combine the crushed oreos with the cream cheese. I use my Kitchen Aid mixer and it works great. If you have a mixer you will use, use the paddle attachment. It is the best one for the job. If you do this by hand, well, just make sure it is thoroughly combined.

Roll the Oreo dough into small balls. Maybe 1-2 inches in diameter. Place each ball on a parchment or wax paper lined sheet. This will make about 30 truffles.
Set the tray outside to get cold. Not frozen but definitely firm.

While your balls are firming up,(heh), melt the white chocolate chips. Get a second cookie sheet and a wire rack out, you will want to drip the truffles on the rack after you have coated them in chocolate.
Take each cold ball and dunk it in the melted chocolate. I use two forks to make a basket to transfer each truffle to the wire rack. Let the chocolate harden. Put the truffles in an airtight container. But first eat 7 of them. I know I did.
Share them with people you really love.
Seriously. Delish, and this is coming from a lady who HATES chocolate and oreos.

* I would just like to say that I made mine with a cute little red or green dot on top thinking it would be festive and Christmasy. Nope. I made tiny, truffle, Christmas boobs. Feel free to not decorate them. Or decorate them with a non nipple-esque decoration.

A post about fattness. Mine, specifically.

I love sweets. It is no secret I can generally be found with some kind of treat in my hand. Preferably of the fruity variety. Mike and Ike's make my heart soar. Banana Laffy Taffy? I drool just thinking about it. But the holiday season isn't much for Mike and Ikes, the holiday season and its requisite baking tend to involved heavy things, like chocolate and peanut butter. ( I intend some day to invent a cookie made with Mike and Ikes. And world peace will be achieved.) While I mourn the Mike and Ikes free holiday season, I thought I would share with you some recipes. This series of recipes is titled "Reasons Why I am Fat". And while I realize I am not actually fat, I eat a lot of sweets and reckon I could drop at least 15 pounds if I just stopped eating sweets. But what sort of life is that, I wonder?
And also, can some one please tell me how it is possible I still weigh 10-15 pounds more than my pre-baby weight but yet fit into all my pre-baby clothes/ sizes. Am I squishing out and I don't realize it? If I look a fool, you'd tell me right?

Kicking off "Reasons Why I am Fat. The Recipe Extravaganza" is a personal favorite. And also the easiest thing in the world to make. Butterscotch Haystacks.

Take one bag of butterscotch chips and melt. Preferably over a double boiler. I use a metal bowl place over a pot of simmering water. Who needs a double boiler when that method works just as well? Better, even. Maybe?
Dump one bag of chow mein noodles into the scotch chips. Give it a stir. Plop small piles onto wax paper or parchment paper to harden and cool.
Eat them for they are yummy.
Feel free to sub out the scotch chips for something you like better. White chocolate? Chocolate? And also, broken up pieces of pretzel work great in this instead of chow mein noodles.
So really, friends, I in essence gave you a recipe for melting something and then putting other stuff into it. Am I creative or what? Hahaha. Enjoy.

A post full of excuses for my absence.

I have been an absent blogger lately.There are tons of reasons. Chiefly, I am lazy. Secondly, I have transitioned from working to being a FT stay at home mother. While one would think this frees up crazy amounts of times for blogging, one would, in fact, be wrong.
I dreamed of lazy afternoon naps with my child in my arms. Sleeping late, lounging about in pajamas and maybe, if we felt like it, watching Disney movies while snuggled up in a blanket. And wouldn't you know it? Staying home as a full time mother is actually super challenging, hectic and exhausting. My sweet Lucia quit napping regularly right about the time I started staying home. And she also discovered she has a brain and likes to learn. No. LOVES to learn. She always wants to be in the world doing things and exploring and just figuring this whole LIFE thing out for herself. And I could be blogging about each and every adventure we take but honestly? I would much rather not have my camera or computer in my hands. I want to be with her, getting my hands dirty, laughing, running, getting grass stains from rolling down hills, covered in finger paint, exhausted from playing.
It has been a time of great stretching. Of great growth in my heart and in my soul and I get a fulfillment out of being with her I never thought was possible. While I will go back to work ,hopefully back into the field that I love, right now? I just want to be present and fully immersed in my daughter and our family. Because truthfully? It all goes by And I want to soak up this magical time of mommyhood. And Lucy is the coolest kid on the planet, who wouldn't want to spend all their time with her?

Apr 26, 2010

Vegetarian: On The Cheap

Sorry I have been gone for so incredibly long.
There are no excuses just blatant blog neglect. I am contrite to your outrage and bring you a humble, healthy apology.
The cost for this meal is a lot up front when we talk about supplies if you don't keep Olive Oil on hand or vodka or wine. It is about $25-$30 if you do not already have this stuff on hand. If you do, it is about $11.00 for the whole shebang. This recipe feeds 4-6 people. Double down and you get 8-12 servings for about $15.00 total. Or roughly $1.25 per serving. Please make this food and feed a bunch of people a really healthy meal. Think of the children!!!

Vegetarian Pasta ( PS...must love tomatoes)

Shopping list:
Tomatoes- any kind will do, about 1.5- 2 pounds worth. To make this super special grab heirloom tomatoes cause holy pretty purple and green tomatoes! ( roughly $6 total depending where you buy them. farmers markets or co-ops have the least expensive highest quality 'maters)
Olive Oil- but you already have this on hand right? The green kind, not the yellow kind. This is important. ( you already have this so it is free. Or about $10 for a really good bottle.)
Penne- about a pound, maybe you want to grab the whole wheat kind? Nummers. ( $3.00 for the whole wheat, less for white flour)
Garlic- fresh. Make sure that bulb is good and tight before you buy it. ($.50)
Vodka- if you are adventurous, white wine if you are Lutheran, nothing at all if you prefer.
Salt, pepper, red pepper flakes. ( what ever you have is fine, if you are not a sloppy drunk like me, buy a bottle of Vodka for about $15.00 or wine for about $3.00- the 3 buck chuck chard from Trader Joe's is REALLY good)
Heavy cream, NOT half and half or similar. ($1.49, I <3 Market Pantry)
Fresh basil if you feel like it ( free from your herb garden, about $1.00 to buy the plant from a green house or about $3.00 if you buy fresh herbs at the grocery store. Grow your own already)
Parmesan cheese if you want it ( we call this shakey cheese in our house) ( $2.50)

So now we advance to cooking.
Grab a big old skillet/ saucier/ sauce pan
grab a jumbo pot for boiling your pasta
a sharp sharp sharp knife

1. Start large pot of water on to boil.
2. In saucier add about 1/4 + a smidge of olive oil
3. with sharp knife sliver or mince ( whatever you prefer) the garlic, about 4 cloves should do.
4. add to the olive oil on low heat.
5. cook garlic until aromatic ( it smells like garlic). Just about 1-2 minutes. Do not over cook the garlic. yuck.
6. While the garlic cooks cube and seed your tomatoes. This is gross. Do it any way. ( Note.... to seed a tomato, cut in half and either squeeze the seeds out or scoop with a spoon.)
7. when the garlic is done take your wine/ vodka and add to the mix. You want about 1/4 cup of either. Don't do both, sheesh.
8. let the boozey garlic mess simmer a bit till it reduces by half.
9.Toss your 'maters in with the garlic/ booze mix and let cook about 15 minutes. Maybe 20 if you use heirlooms since they are beefier.
10. Is your pasta boiled? Good.
11. add a splash of heavy cream to the tomato slop, heat through.
12. Toss the strained pasta into the sauce and coat.
13. Toss the pasta con sauce into a large bowl.
14. Sprinkle fresh basil on top.
15. Maybe a dash of shakey cheese to the top? Real parm works great too.

I hope you like this. It is a variant to vodka pasta from Williams Sonoma. This nukes really well and is delicioso. Enjoy this fresh, delicious, hearty and inexpensive dish.